Let’s face it—parenting is the hardest job most of us will ever take on, and there’s no training manual handed out in the delivery room. You’re juggling everything from bedtime battles to picky eaters, all while trying to raise decent, happy humans. It’s a wild ride, and yep, mistakes happen.

But some of those mistakes? They stick. They shape how our kids grow up, how they view themselves, and even how they’ll raise their own kids one day. The good news? You can correct course at any time.

Video: 8 PARENTING MISTAKES WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID

Here are 10 of the most common parenting mistakes family psychologists say we make—and how you can shift things starting today.

Controlling Every Choice for Your Kid

You want the best for your child—so it’s natural to step in and decide what’s “right.” But making all the decisions for them, from what they wear to how they spend their free time, sends a silent message: “You can’t handle this.”

That’s not what you want to teach. Kids need decision-making practice. Let them pick their own clothes (even if it’s socks with sandals), choose their weekend activities, and weigh in on what’s for dinner. Independence grows from little moments like these.

Criticizing or Comparing Them to Siblings or Friends

We’ve all said it without thinking: “Why can’t you act like your sister?” or “You’re just so lazy sometimes.”

Those words leave deeper marks than we realize. Comparison chips away at their self-worth. Instead, try focusing on effort and specific accomplishments: “You worked hard on that project—I’m proud of you.” That kind of encouragement builds confidence, not resentment.

Trying to Bubble-Wrap Them From Every Mistake

It’s natural to want to protect your child from failure. But falling, failing, and fumbling are how kids build grit and learn consequences.

Let them screw up sometimes. Forgot their homework? Don’t race it to school. Let them experience that “oops” moment. They’ll learn more from that than a lecture ever could.

Talking at Them Instead of Listening

You’ve probably had those moments when your kid starts talking, and you already know where it’s going—so you interrupt, give advice, or lecture.

Video: 7 Things You Should Never Say to Children

Pause that urge. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next time?” Then zip it and really listen. You’ll build trust—and get way more insight into what’s going on in their world.

Avoiding Responsibility Lessons Because ‘They’re Just Kids’

Chores aren’t punishment. They’re life training.

When we skip teaching kids responsibility—like making their bed, feeding the dog, or taking out the trash—we’re setting them up for a rude awakening later. Start small and be consistent. It teaches discipline, teamwork, and the importance of contribution.

Brushing Off Learning or Behavioral Challenges

Bad grades or outbursts in school don’t always mean your kid’s lazy or just “being bad.” There might be something deeper going on—like ADHD, anxiety, or a learning disorder.

Don’t ignore the signs. Get support early. A little intervention now can prevent major issues down the road and help your child feel seen and supported.

Demanding Perfection All the Time

We want our kids to do well—great, even. But expecting them to always ace every test, win every game, and behave perfectly 24/7? That’s a recipe for anxiety and burnout.

Show them it’s okay to mess up. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Your love shouldn’t depend on achievements—and they need to know that deep down.

Trying to Compensate for Your Partner’s Parenting Style

Maybe your partner’s the disciplinarian, so you try to be the “cool” parent. Or maybe they’re too lenient, so you go extra hard on rules.

Video: 5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life

This back-and-forth only confuses kids. They need consistency. You and your partner should be on the same page—even if you parent differently. Kids crave structure more than they crave fairness.

Doing Everything for Them (Even What They Can Do Alone)

Tying their shoes. Making their bed. Packing their lunch. If they can do it themselves but you’re still doing it—it’s time to back off.

Encourage independence. Let them try, fail, and try again. You’re not being lazy—you’re helping them become capable. Give them the tools, and let them build their own confidence.

Saying One Thing, Doing Another

You tell them not to yell, but you shout during traffic. You say “be kind,” but gossip about the neighbor. Kids don’t follow instructions—they follow examples.

Be the kind of person you want your child to become. When you mess up, own it. Apologize. Talk it out. You’ll teach them something more valuable than any lecture: humility and accountability.

Look, nobody gets parenting “right” all the time. We lose our patience. We say the wrong thing. We forget the big picture. That’s normal.

But here’s what matters: being willing to grow. When we recognize the habits that hurt and swap them for ones that heal, we create a safer, stronger bond with our kids. And that’s worth everything.

So breathe easy, learn as you go, and remember—you’re raising a human, not managing a project. Give yourself grace. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent—just one who shows up and tries.